over it

I am so tired of love but this a real life , I must get thru this slowly & take a deep breath to settle it if I'm in trouble bout it . well everyone will have this kind of feeling smetimes , and love is sweet , love is cruel , love is wonderfull that can make you dont even see the bad bout her/him . and yes smetimes I do in love but I'm hesitate bout it so much ... & thts me failed in relationship ..now I'm moving fast & forgetting the rest but I'm not leaving .I'm wondering if I do really deserve to be in love or not .I dont wanna get hurt no more & yes I have my heart broken once . I dont wanna have it anymore its really hurt me & killing me smtimes . And I also dont wanna hurt people , espcially smeone tht really I love or who really love me . smehow I must get thru this by myself . When I sit in silence I'd like to take  a gun & count to three , 1 .. 2 .. 3.. SHOOT myself on head . I'm tried of thinking bout smething tht would make me sad and smthing tht would make me misery . No matter what , I have to get thru all this , nothing can seperate between human being and love .I'll take it slow & with commitment but not fully hoping on it . well I guees It's enough for today , I'll continue it later with sme new story HA-HA-HA